Turning points in a relationship are those at which we begin to think that we may be better off breaking up with our partners. Turning points are not common everyday occurrences, but are usually reached as the culmination of long-term unhappiness, discord, mistrust, and/or disrespect. When we come to these turning points, we must ask ourselves "Do I want to save my relationship?" Once we have the answer to that question, we have one of three decisions that must be made.
1. Leave things as they are, regardless of how miserable we are or how bleak things may seem.
2. End the relationship.
3. Stay in the relationship and make an honest attempt to correct the problem(s).
Many people choose the first course of action by default. They cannot imagine not being with his or her partner, but neither see how the problem(s) can be corrected, so they do nothing except hope that things will get better over time. They may make token efforts to communicate their displeasure with their partner, but these efforts are usually not vocalized very well because of a lack or understanding of effective communication skills and therefore no real progress is made. They remain miserable in the relationship but see no way out.
Ending the relationship may appear to be a good option to some. To revert back to a single life where one is free to pursue whatever, or whomever, one chooses may be the best course of action in some cases, particularly where spousal abuse, alcoholism and/or drug addiction, pedophilia (child molestation), or other abusive or destructive behaviors. To end a relationship, particularly a long-term one, and start over is an extremely frightening prospect and this decision should not be made lightly, but after long, careful, considered evaluation.
The dissolving of a long-term relationship is rated second below the death of a spouse on the life stress scale. Some people cannot imagine life without his or her partner. They feel that their life would be empty and meaningless without the companionship with which they have become accustomed. If children are involved, this feeling of potential loss is compounded. When this is added to a realistic appraisal of the costs of a breakup (financial, mental and emotional), they decide that the best course of action to take would be to stay and make an honest effort to fix the problem(s). This may mean seeking the help of a good therapist or counselor. In many instances, however, it would only require both parties to sit down and have a long, open, honest, non-confrontational talk. If both partners cannot do this effectively, counseling would certainly be in order. If both partners wish to save the relationship and focus their energies on doing this, the future for the relationship would likely be very bright.
We at Sexual Solutions take the stance that no relationship should be ended until one or both partners have done everything within their power to correct whatever problems exit in their relationship. Only after every reasonable option has been exhausted can the relationship be ended with no regrets. There will then be no cause for "second guessing" and "what ifs".
In the meantime, visit Sexual Solutions, LLC to learn how we can help you "Bring back the sizzle!"
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