The obvious answer is, "Of course I can! That's why they're my partner." But can you, or do you, honestly and openly talk to your partner? The saying is that when in a group, the three topics that should never be discussed are politics, religion and sex. Many people feel that they can talk to their partners about most anything - except sex. They can talk about politics and religion, but sex is a subject that most people do not talk about freely, even with their sex partners. Today, as open as our society is and with a world of information quite literally at our fingertips, most of us must still endure societal prohibitions and inhibitions when talking about sex. This applies more to some than others.
Why is that? Generally, it isn't their fault; it is because of the way these people were raised. The social and religious views that were learned from their parents and later from their friends. When we say learned, we don't necessarily mean that they were specifically told not to talk about sex, it means that because of the general atmosphere of the household, they just knew that this was not a topic that was open to discussion. To be a child in an extremely conservative home where the parents are "old school" conservatives does not lend itself to the freedom of asking questions about sex. It isn't that sex is frowned upon, it just isn't discussed at all. Children in these households simply know that this is the one subject that is never mentioned and no questions regarding sex are going to be entertained.
In all fairness to the parents in these households, most people never give them the chance to discuss sex with them. They were so certain that this topic was taboo that they never dared to bring it up. So, it is possible that despite their impression, their parents may have at least made the attempt to talk about sex with us, regardless of how uncomfortable it may have been.
In households in which the children are raised in an extremely religious atmosphere, social inhibitions combine with perceived, possibly misunderstood, religious prohibitions to form a highly restrictive sexual environment. The belief and teaching that sex is a duty to be performed to procreate the species and not an activity to be enjoyed leads many, particularly women, into lives filled with sexual repression. Many people believe that when exposed to the joys and euphoria of sexual orgasms, people who have been repressed will become sex-crazed fiends who will uncontrollably engage in sex acts with anyone at any given opportunity. This is far from the truth. Commonly, sexually repressed people will tend to have guilt and shame after engaging in sex, even with their spouses. Often, they will be unable or unwilling to engage in sexual activities that a large portion of our society practices such as fellatio, cunnilingus and anal sex, which can lead to frustration on the part of their partners.
It is very difficult, if not impossible, for a sexually repressed person to talk with anyone about sexual matters, particularly when it concerns them personally. The shame and guilt of having sexual feelings are simply too great. However, with much love, patience, tolerance and help from their partners, progress can be made. The Sexual Solutions Sexual Communication Programs are designed to help couples who recognize this as a problem in their relationship and wish to achieve a more open attitude with each other about sexual issues.
Our next post - Do I attack my partner?
In the meantime, visit our website, Sexual Solutions, LLC, and learn how we can help you "Bring back the sizzle!" Also, follow us on Facebook (Sexual Solutions) and Twitter (@sexsol) to stay abreast of news, new products and specials.
No comments:
Post a Comment